Tips For Selecting A Therapist That Is Right For You

If you’re considering therapy — whether to restore a relationship, recover from trauma, adjust to a new life phase, improve your mental health, or just talk with someone — finding the right therapist is the first hurdle to cross. 

Researchers have found that the bond between you and your therapist is likely to have a big effect on your growth. That’s why it’s important to do your research, ask questions, and pay attention to your own responses in your search for the therapist right for you. 

If you’re new to therapy, the number of mental health professionals can be overwhelming and confusing, but having some goals and tips in mind may help you find the best mental health professional that you need. Follow along for some tips we offer to make this process easier for you.

After figuring out what type of therapy is best for you, the next step is figuring out exactly how your therapist can help you. 

Here are some tried-and-true steps to keep your goals in mind while searching for a therapist.

Think about your goals ahead of time

Whether or not you know your starting point, you’ve decided to look for a therapist. Ask yourself what you want to accomplish and what you need help with. When you and your therapist work together toward the same goals, your outlook will be better. Having an idea of the areas you’d like to work on can assist your therapist in gaining insight into the areas you believe you need to work on, and this can help kick off therapy. Developing goals can be a team effort between you and your therapist. If you think medication may help with your symptoms, you’ll want to find a psychiatrist or practitioner who can prescribe medications. 

Also consider which type of therapy could best suit your needs.

If you’ve heard that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy have been effective for others with your condition, you can look for a therapist with certifications or specialized training in those treatment approaches. 

If you want to be part of a supportive network of people who understand your experiences, you may want to consider looking for a therapist who’s involved with support groups or group therapy sessions.

Your goals may change as you work with a therapist. It’s OK to talk with your therapist about changing the direction of your treatment plan as your needs evolve. 

Consult your insurance and finances

Therapy can be costly, so it’s important to look at your finances and understand your budget. Also be sure to check whether your insurance plan offers help with mental health services.

If you plan to pay for therapy through your insurance plan, your first step might be to look through your plan’s network for a therapist. 

It’s also a good idea to find out whether your insurance plan limits the number of sessions you can attend each year and whether using an out-of-network therapist will affect your out-of-pocket costs. 

You can still work with a therapist outside of your health insurance, but it may be more expensive. However, if you develop a strong connection with a mental health professional not covered by your network, you can check whether your insurance will reimburse you for appointment costs. 

Ask someone you trust

A referral from a friend, colleague, or doctor you trust is another way to find a therapist who might be a good fit for you. 

While a referral is a good place to start, it’s important to recognize that you may have different needs and goals with your therapy than the person giving you the recommendation. So, a good match for them might not be as beneficial to you. 

Remember that finding a therapist can be an overwhelming and long process due to the current therapist shortage, so try not to get discouraged if a personal referral doesn’t pan out. 

Telehealth services can be a great option if you don’t know anyone in therapy or can’t use a personal referral. 

Ask questions about the things that matter to you

Coming to therapy without any set expectations can be very beneficial, Beginning therapy with an open mind and vulnerability can assist with identifying areas you’d like to work on. Sometimes, the areas we think we need to work on are only the tip of the iceberg, and the true work may take place looking deeper. That said, it’s important to ask your therapist some questions to assess whether they will be a good fit for you. 

When you meet your therapist, whether online, on the phone, or in person, have some notes handy to remember anything you’d like to ask. 

Sometimes individuals believe they need to hold back on requesting certain information from mental health service providers, but client/patient rights allow for getting all your questions and concerns met. Platforms should have built-in methods to help you address any concerns you have.

The American Psychological Association suggests a few questions to consider asking your therapist during your first session:

• Are you a licensed in this state? 
• How many years have you been in practice? 
• How much experience do you have working with people who are dealing with [the issue you’d like to resolve]? 
• What do you consider to be your specialty or area of expertise?
• What kinds of treatments have you found effective in resolving [the issue you’d like to resolve]?
• Do you provide access to telehealth services?
• How soon can I expect to start feeling better?
• What do we do if our treatment plan isn’t working?

Note: If you’ve ever been abused by someone in authority or affected by trauma or racism, you may want to ask questions that help you find out whether a potential therapist is culturally informed and sensitive to your experiences.

Pay attention to red flags

Whether you see a therapist in person or virtually for the first time, you’ll want to pay attention to any factors that make you feel uncomfortable. 

Therapy is meant to be a welcoming and accepting space for any and all feelings that come up. Some potential red flags to look out for include:

• Does the room make you feel physically uncomfortable? Does it feel private and secure?
• Are you experiencing overwhelming feelings of anxiety or panic? Some anxiety or nervousness is understandable, but you’ll want to communicate to your therapist if you’re experiencing symptoms of an anxiety or panic attack.
• Do you feel comfortable telling your therapist anything? Are they making you feel judged or uneasy in any way? 
• Is your therapist completely present with you throughout your session?

Pay close attention to your own responses

No matter how many professional accreditations your therapist has, your own feelings of trust and comfort should be your top priority. Will therapy be uncomfortable from time to time? Possibly. After all, you’ll likely be discussing difficult, personal topics. 

But if you feel uncomfortable with your therapist for any other reason, it’s all right to look for someone else. You don’t need a reason to switch therapists. It’s enough that you don’t feel comfortable. 

Keep in mind the aforementioned potential red flags to determine whether your discomfort is just general nerves from starting therapy or if you’re truly feeling uncomfortable with your new therapist. 

If you feel like you can’t talk with them honestly, or like they’re not fully listening, that might be reason enough to discontinue therapy with them. 

Here are a few things to notice as you talk with your therapist:

• Does the therapist interrupt you, or do they listen carefully to what you’re saying?
• Does the therapist respect your time by being prompt to appointments?
• Does the therapist brush off or invalidate your concerns?
• Do you feel seen, heard, and respected during your session?